


if i could go back to the day we met (i probably would just stay in bed)

by kayzie



Series: do re mi [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: As well as hinata, F/M, Halsey is mentioned for a second, Hyena Man Kuroo Tetsurou, Kageyama is mentioned - Freeform, Kuroo Tetsurou is a little shit, One-Sided Attraction, POV Third Person, Pining, Unrequited Love, they love dinosaurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayzie/pseuds/kayzie
Summary: "What does it feel?"Okay. What's with that? He furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "What?""To love a person who's not yet done loving another?"





	if i could go back to the day we met (i probably would just stay in bed)

**Author's Note:**

> for my fav kouhai, Piana, thank you for staying with me, fangirling with me, ranting with me, and all in all, being with me. this is to welcome you to this fandom. muah loves~!
> 
> title from blackbear's doremi

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi, Tsukishima's best friend since who knows when, asked from the other side of the court; voice loud enough for him to hear, soft enough for him to barely notice. They were both assigned of cleaning up the court, since they lost at the two vs. two match earlier. It was quite a task, but he can't complain. They lost, after all.

"Yeah," The blond said as he picked up some volleyballs.

"Can I ask you something?" The pinch server asked, voice laced with genuine curiosity.

Tsukishima, being the little (not so little, actually) shit that he is, replied, "You already did."

His best friend dead panned. "You know what I mean, Kei."

 _Oh shit. He's using **that voice**_ , Tsukishima thought. "Yeah, sure, go ahead. What is it?"

Yamaguchi took a deep breath, and looked like he was contemplating if he should ask or not.

But eventually, his question came.

"What does it feel?"

Okay. What's with that? He furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "What?"

"To love a person who's not yet done loving another?"

—

Tsukishima loves his mother—especially when she cooks him his favorite food, or spoils his addiction with those dinosaur figurines—but he absolutely hates her when she tries to set him up with a girl. Sure, he's single, but it's not like he needs a girlfriend. He's fine, thank you.

His beloved mum used to take him everywhere she went so he could bond with kids his age, enroll him to these stupid workshops so he could socialize with other kids, and take him to the playground in hopes that he'll finally have a good friend to interact with everyday.

When he went home one day to introduce Yamaguchi to his family (as a friend, okay? _as a friend_ ) his mother literally _cried_  tears of joy. Not his fault that she's overreacting. But she is his mum, he has to deal with her forever.

Anyway, back to those stupid dates with those stupid girls, he's the type that only eats the fancy ass foods and then excuses himself to the bathroom, and leaves. Those girls are all too terrifying—some are too stupid, some are too smart, some are too trying hard, some are too loud, but all of them are just...  _too much_.

But there's always an exception.

(First Name), with her beautiful lips and gorgeous eyes, managed to capture Tsukishima's heart in a second. And when she talked about her taste in music that is exactly similar to Tsukishima's ("It's not my fault that Halsey's  _the shit_ , okay?! That gal's just goals, I want to be her. Or be with her. I'm fine with either.") and her love for dinosaurs ("I wish they're still alive, I'd do everything to keep them. You know that, right, Kei?"), he knew he's in love.

Though, things get worse first before it gets better.

Apparently, (First Name) has a boyfriend in Tokyo. A tall guy with a cute laugh, deep voice, and messy hair. He plays volleyball too, she said ("And he's also a middle blocker, whatever that means."). They've been together for over a year already, and she's just going on these dates to indulge her mum. They're not legal, and her mum will kill her if she said they're together—and for more than a year, at that.

And when he asked if they could be friends after that date, (First Name)'s smile was so bright it almost blinded him. They exchanged numbers before parting ways, with (First Name) promising _, I gotta introduce you to my boyfriend, Kei, you'll get along!_

 _No thanks,_  he wanted to say.

 _Sure, maybe next time,_  was what he ended up saying.

Their friendship went smoothly after that. (First Name) updating him with her life and Tsukishima telling her about Kageyama and Hinata's stupidity.

There were times that they would meet in a coffee shop to talk to each other, catch up with their lives even if they're texting 25/8, and mess around. It's not as good as what Tsukishima wanted, but this will do. This is alright. Not everything he ever wanted, but enough.

(First Name)'s always jolly, always joking around, throwing these dumb puns whenever she could, and giving him life hacks that he never knew he needed.

She was his sunshine, the love of his life, the one who hung all those fucking stars in his sky, the girl who makes him laugh when all he wanted to do was cry. Tsukishima loves her so,  _so much_.

Her boyfriend must feel so lucky, to have a girlfriend like her. To have someone like her in his life. To have someone who will take care of him when he needed it, and will continue caring for him even if he didn't need her to.

So it sent a  _pang_  in his chest when she came to his home, face wet with tears, and voice so little it broke his heart.

"Kei, he broke up with me."

The next days were dark and sad, and he did everything he could to save her. He hugged her when she cried, comforted her, rubbed her back, fed her because she couldn't, wiped her tears, and held her hand to show that he's  _there_ —he's  _always_  there.

"I love him so damn much Kei," (First Name) cried to his shoulder once, after eating the greasy takeout he bought on the nearest fast food chain, "but it's not enough. Hell, it's  _never_ enough."

It's quite the same for him.

He's there, he's always there, but it's not enough.

Oh, how wrong he was.

All his efforts were not  _not_  enough. In fact, they were everything. Every single thing he ever did—they were all appreciated. (First Name) acknowledged his efforts, wants to give him a fucking medal for it, but no.

All of those? Yes, they were enough. But Tsukishima? No. Never.

Tsukishima is not enough. He never was, and he'll never be.

—

"What does it feel?"

"What?"

"To love a person who's not yet done loving another?"

A pause.

"It's like having your ribs teared apart one by one," he said. "Then put back together to remove them once again."


End file.
